Letters

It is time to remember our Vietnam veterans. Several veterans organizations and officials from local communities should be commended for honoring Ocean County’s Vietnam veterans at special ceremonies during Vietnam Veterans Week, to commemorate the cessation of hostilities in that war 30 years ago.

Ocean County is proud of all 68,000 veterans who call our wonderful corner of God’s earth their home. We embrace our veterans who served during World War 11, Korea, Vietnam, the first Persian and Gulf War, Afghanistan, and Operation Iraqi Freedom, the many peacekeeping operations, and those continuing the fight against terrorism around the world.

But on this 30th anniversary of the end of Vietnam, it is especially important to extend our appreciation to a generation of soldiers who returned from Vietnam and who never received a proper homecoming.

Like generations of sailors, airmen and marines, these Vietnam veterans fought with bravery and valor. They served their country and followed the orders of their commanders-in-chief, presidents Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon.

They fought in the rice patties, oppressive jungles and villages of far-off Southeast Asia to protect the freedom of the people of South Vietnam against a communist regime. They fought to keep the hope of democracy alive. They never let America down. More than 58,000 soldiers were lost in combat, including 1,500 from New Jersey.

Vietnam veterans never got the homecoming they earned.

On this 30th anniversary, America and Ocean County, say thank you to our Vietnam veterans. Your service and bravery will never be forgotten. Welcome home.

Gerry P. Little

deputy director

Ocean County Board

of Freeholders

Associations sweep democracy under the rug

I’m writing this letter in rebuttal to a letter written by a Mr. George Fencik, concerning N.J. Senate Bill S20166.

Mr. Fencik is the president of the Homeowners Association (HOA) that I belong to. Little wonder he writes so eloquently about the reasons all HOA members should rid themselves of the proposed wording that state Sen. Shirley Turner has in the form of S2016, the “Common Interest Community and Homeowners Association Act.” He might get his wings clipped.

I have noticed, in past weeks, some of the literary pieces of deception written and composed by presidents of HOA’s depicting the reasons that will befall us all if we let this vital bill get passed. This is nothing but a cause to keep them in power, or on an ego trip.

In conclusion, these boards have been granted legislative powers to impose fines but without safeguards. Democracy and “due process” are being swept under the rug. Fraudulent election practices, no public input permitted before monetary spending motions are approved, censorship of newsletters are but some of the problems this vital bill will correct, with God’s help.

Remember that this letter that I’m rebutting came from an association president while I’m just a silent, limited in my free speech, member.

Arthur A. Sholty

Brick

Negative attacks on councilman are unwarranted

In reading a recent letter from my former running mate for Board of Education, John Bendokas, I was truly saddened. I find it hard to believe that someone who sat on the board for as long as John could genuinely believe the statements he made in criticizing one of our town’s council members.

To any reasonable person who has watched the meeting, Mr. Thulen was attempting to make a point. In his letter, John said Mr. Thulen should use his position to lobby legislators to address the funding problems of special education. What he fails to realize is that this is precisely what Mr. Thulen’s point aimed to do. State and federal officials have continued to ignore these problems and it is past time that local officials find some way to draw greater attention to the matter.

Obviously, he was not advocating to stop the education of our most neediest students!

The extreme comparisons to some of history’s most infamous characters was completely unwarranted and ignores the point of that councilman’s comments. Further, it begs the question of Mr. Bendokas – how many times in your term as a sitting board member did you lobby the legislature to take action on this problem?

Perhaps it is time that Mr. Bendokas learn to engage people in positive dialogs (especially those who clearly hope to address the problems that face our town) instead of attacking what they say. As John’s former running mate and a former board member, I am saddened by these continuing negative attacks. This town simply can no longer afford to have such division over important issues.

John and I lost our bid for re-election last year. That does not mean we need to give up our desire to help or be involved in civic matters.

This year, I stood proudly with those who successfully ran in opposition to us last year to support school board candidates who I think will make a difference. I will continue to be involved where I can and whenever I can, in a positive and constructive manner. I owe that to all of the people who have supported me over the years.

I would hope that Mr. Bendokas would reconsider his negative and angry position. It does not serve him, our schools, our children or our town any longer.

Brian DeLuca

Brick

former school board membe r

Children should defend themselves with honor, grace

Sitting in my home the other day,I started to imagine life a few years from now. My son coming into the house in tears because a bully had made up lies about him and started spreading them to all his friends. He couldn’t understand why someone would do this to him, especially when they had been playing together for as long as they’d known each other.

I couldn’t answer him. I had no rhyme or reason and no logical explanation to offer him. Perhaps they were jealous of him. Perhaps his happiness made them uneasy or the fact that his family was stable and happy and theirs wasn’t caused them distress and they need to lash out. He nods wit watery eyes.

Then I start to think, after he’s been calmed and is relaxing with his sister on the play set, why didn’t he defend himself against this bully? Why didn’t he go from kid to kid, as the bully had done accusing, and straighten everyone out about what the truth really was?

Then I thought of years earlier when the same thing happened to me and at the time didn’t say anything. This was completely my fault because I taught him, by my lack of action, that ignorance is to be condoned and lies and accusation accepted.

How sad that we pass so much on to our children without even being aware we’re doing it. This bully’s parents passed on the fine art of lying and bullying and intimidation and inconsideration whether they wanted to or not. Did they think that their children weren’t paying attention years before when they heard their parents lying to neighbors and friends? Did they think their kids would forget how their parents taught them how to evade the police and thumb their noses at them? Could they have been that stupid? Could anyone be that stupid?

Well, I thought, it would have to end here. My son would fight his own battles, that was made clear from the start of his life; Mom and Dad would be there just in case, but he’d have to work out his issues just like we did growing up. I would talk to him about the dangers of not defending one’s honor. I would explain how it would eat him alive from the inside out if he let these lies and innuendoes continue.

But he wouldn’t do it. He would remind me that I always told him to “let it go” and that “people aren’t always good” and that he should “just ignore it.” His life would be awkward and uncomfortable but eventually get back to normal, but not before the entire incident was burned into his permanent memory and always be a chink in his armor of confidence.

And it would be my fault.

So I’ve rewritten the past. I will go to the bullies in my life and defend myself with class and grace, and calm, intelligent words; hopefully in front of at least a few people so going “door to door” won’t be necessary. Enough is enough. Complacency breeds ignorance and that is something I will not be held responsible for. I will not let my pain become my son’s legacy. My son will grow up an honorable, loving, Christian man who tolerates more than the average person but will not allow his honor to be tarnished; he’ll be too strong for that. He’ll have learned by his parents’ actions that one can defend oneself and one’s honor without anger and lies and violence.

Teach your children well; you only have one shot at it.

Eileen Bishop

Brick