Parents, think twice before criticizing coach

Wayne Witkowski

Shortly after his Little League All-Star team lost, the Brick manager called for a meeting of the parents of every player.

It wasn't that he was disgusted that his team fell short, although it still was very much alive in the district tournament. As he counted the parents one by one to make sure they were there and he leaned against the fence behind him, he felt he had to get something off his chest.

"I don't want to hear anyone complain anymore. No one," this columnist heard the manager say sternly. "No more complaints about when their son should play or how long he should play. I'm just in this to win. That's all."

He wanted the parents to feel they're all in this together, that they're a part of the team as much as the players were.

Although managers try to play everybody as evenly as they can, this is an all-star tournament where the team is representing its league against other towns, and winning can measure the quality of the league. Sometimes managers put players in the game based on the situation.

"Good job, Coach," said the league president, who listened in on the little speech along with some league administrators. "It was well said."

And with younger players, the argument for playing time comes more from the parents than from the players.

The remarks came as no surprise. This manager, and a few other managers this summer, had expressed concern to this writer about some complaining parents. One manager even remarked while giving results of a game over the phone, "This kid did well. Make sure you get his name in. His father's really been nagging me."

But these incidents should not be misunderstood by the readers. This is not an "us versus them" standoff. Many managers praise the support they receive from the parents. Some even ask that their positive comments be quoted in the Bulletin.

But it's the undercurrent of disgruntled parents who rock the boat and make it difficult, not only for the manager and his staff but sometimes for the other parents who have to hear it as well.

And it's not only in youth leagues. Although some high school coaches praised the backing of parents and some others were even-tempered about it, a few were wary of some persistently critical parents. Their targets included coaches of winning teams and losing teams.

The friction is nothing new. "Little League parents," a term thrown around years ago about overbearing parents of young athletes in any sport, has been replaced by "soccer moms." There also is the dreaded "hockey dad" label, which conjures up a more belligerent image. There have been a few incidents around the country where hockey players' fathers have battered and even killed other men.

Certainly, having some parents unhappy with the way their children are utilized in a game by the coach is not unusual. But parents need to realize that now, more than ever, coaches have to do more to coach and are scrutinized more.

Brick American recently starting having a lecturer come in once a year to talk to managers about ways to teach the finer points of the game, and Brick National is looking to do the same this year. The lecturer for Brick American is Mike Carlson of Triple Crown Baseball Academy in Toms River, and he emphasizes the finer points of hitting. I know how much he knows and loves the game because I covered him when he played in high school.

So impressed were the executive officers of Brick American that they talked about bringing in the coaches of the younger level teams next spring for an additional primer.

"Teach, teach. teach, that's what we want to do," said Brick American President Tom Nerney.

Brick National feels an even greater need for it after recently opening a state-of-the-art facility that has batting cages, pitching lanes and t-ball stations, complete with cameras to film the hitters for instructional purposes. Brick American opened a facility three years earlier, which means all of the young kids around town have a chance to play baseball year-round. That, combined with fall baseball, means that coaches who are dedicated will be volunteering their time 12 months a year.

And both leagues have had their fields resurfaced. Young players have never had it so good in town.

There also are background checks by the leagues on the coaches, so parents should have no questions about the integrity of the adults with whom they have entrusted their kids.

The increasing demands are not restricted to youth coaching. Starting this fall, all newly hired high school coaches must successfully complete a course in sports first aid and they must be certified in cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) to aid athletes who suffer cardiac problems. Both programs are presented by the American Red Cross.

They also must take a National Federation of High Schools' Coaching Principles course. Bill Bruno, the athletic director for Brick Memorial and Brick Township high schools, is a certified instructor in that course.

Bruno said some coaches who already are employed by the Brick district have talked about taking the coaching principles course next month anyway.

High school football coaches used to talk years ago about how their sport demands a year-round commitment, but, with off-season leagues, most other sports can make that same claim. That means more coaches putting in more time beyond the actual games that are played by their teams. But it also has become a reason why more coaches nowadays are stepping away from their sport to regain lost quality time with their families.

It's all the more reason why parents may want to think twice before venting their dissatisfaction with a coach.