New Jersey is no place for Squirrel Nutkin
PATRICIA A. MILLER Ocean View
Don't say you haven't been warned.

Anyone who reads this little missive will become an accessory to the fact of crimes past and present.

I speak of my repeated violation of the Ocean County Health Department's public health nuisance regulations pursuant to state law to N.J.S.A. 26:3-64.

In other words, I feed squirrels and other small rodents. And I don't intend to stop.

I didn't even know such a law existed until the Brick Township Council introduced an amendment to their "Feeding of Wild Animals and Stray Domestic Animals" ordinance.

Apparently gangs of marauding squirrels are scampering roughshod over some sections of Brick Township and scaring the beejeezus out of some people.

One man who came to the microphone at the Oct. 23 meeting told council members his next-door neighbor had created a "horror" with his bird feeders and squirrel handouts.

The man's grandchildren can't go out to play when they visit Grandpa because of the squirrels. His wife has a bird phobia and can't leave their house until he sounds the air horn he bought to scare the little thugs away.

The amendment forbids the ground feeding of "wild animals and stray domestic animals."

Relax. You can still feed the birds and "certain wild animals," according to the amendment.'

But toss a peanut or dried corn kernel to a squirrel and you could end up with a summons, fine, community service or even time in the slammer.

It's just rodents that can't be fed. Rodents like squirrels, chipmunks, anything that qualifies as a rodent. Woodchucks seem to be OK, says Township Attorney Jean Cipriani

I look at it this way. Animals have a tough enough time in this world. Squirrels have life spans as short as a year. They are claimed by disease, malnutrition, other prey and us.

Anything I can do to make their short lives a little easier, I will do. That also goes for chipmunks, ducks and anything else that needs a meal and wanders into our backyard.

I came home late one night after work to find a skunk on my front steps, nibbling at a Halloween pumpkin. He looked at me, then bolted. He was more afraid of me than I was of him.

Councilman Daniel Toth, another squirrel-feeding scofflaw, had it right. He termed the ordinance amendment "ridiculous."

If all you have to worry about is some hungry squirrels on your property, consider yourself lucky. Some people have it much, much worse.

If you don't like wildlife, move to a paved-over city.

I have to head over to Wal- Mart to pick up some more sunflower seeds, cracked corn and peanuts.

Come and get me, copper!