A fitting farewell to a 4-year-old girl
Hundreds turn out to say goodbye to Avery Lubrecht
BY DANIELLE MEDINA Correspondent

Avery Lubrecht

Avery Judith Lubrecht's smile could light up a room.

The little girl whose brave fight with brain cancer inspired many in Brick Township was remembered by more than 700 people who turned out to celebrate her brief, but beautiful life. Photographs of Avery, along with her favorite things — including her ballet slippers and pink leotard — were displayed at the Timothy E. Ryan Funeral Home, Toms River, for the many who showed up to honor her.

Avery died at her Brick home in her mother's arms on the morning of Aug. 8. She was 4 years old.

"When I walked into the room, I lost my breath," said Stacy Lubrecht, Avery's mother, Sunday. "It was exactly what I had envisioned and what I wanted for her. The funeral home did an amazing job."

For three days prior to the memorial service, Lubrecht and her family combed through some 6,000 pictures of Avery from her birth up until a few days before her death.

"I was really calm and really happy looking at those pictures," Lubrecht said. "It was very therapeutic for me. It brought back so many memories that my kids and I had forgotten."

Fifteen poster boards filled with pictures of Avery with her parents, Stacy and Chris; her older siblings, Megan, Griffin and Jack; and her grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends lined the walls of the two rooms in which the memorial was held.

Scattered among the pictures were Avery's stuffed animals, favorite books, sunflowers and balloons.

A huge picture of Avery, arms outstretched — which was digitally enhanced with angel wings and a halo —was displayed near a giant rainbow floral display from her sister and her brothers.

Rainbows were an important symbol of hope for the Lubrecht family during Avery's battle.

An angel, made of flowers, was from her mother.

Gov. Jon S. Corzine, state Sen. Andrew R. Ciesla and Assemblymen James W. Holzapfel and David W. Wolfe, along with Mayor Stephen C. Acropolis and the Brick Township Council, sent flowers.

So did Nadia Bougteb.

"Thanks for being my best friend," read the card attached to a pink bouquet from the little girl who was Avery's best friend at Tutor Time, where they attended preschool together.

"I was prepared for everything that was going to be in that room, but that made me momentarily fall apart," said Lubrecht. "Nadia and Avery just adored each other."

Poems from Avery's father and her aunt allowed readers to share in their family memories.

Stacy Lubrecht asked that people wear bright clothing to the gathering, not black.

"Please don't come to mourn her," Stacy Lubrecht wrote on Aug. 10 in a message on the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia CarePage. "Come to celebrate the precious 4½ years we were given with her. Come to smile at her photos of dimples and curls. Come to be reminded of her strength and grace and laughter, and come to honor the most adorable and amazing rainbow maker who ever lived."

Although the service, which the Ryan family donated, was scheduled from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Lubrecht said she remained for almost two hours longer than planned.

"I had family from Michigan, Florida and California and friends come from all over," she said. "But there were a lot of people that I didn't know that had heard about Avery and wanted to come. I really felt how much she affected everyone."

Lubrecht said that the hardest people for her to see at the service were the other mothers who have children battling cancer at Children's Hospital.

"I could see in their eyes the fear that, 'This could be me,' " she said. "We thought we were doing well in our fight, and then out of nowhere, we had the rug pulled out from under us. There's no fair play in this."

Since Avery's death, Lubrecht said that many people have said that to her and that they don't know what to say to her and can't imagine how she can be so composed in the face of her unimaginable loss.

One of her good friends, Peter Brown, summed it up best, she said.

"He said that my family is so unified and loving, and we gave 100 percent to Avery this summer. We clearly have no regrets on how we handled this ordeal. He said that we couldn't have loved her more, given her more or spent more time

with her," said Lubrecht. "I felt that statement to be such

a compliment and so true."

Lubrecht will be spending as much time as she can with Megan, Griffin and Jack over the next few weeks before school resumes in September.

Not long after that, she'll return to work and focus on her campaign for a seat on the Ocean County Board of Freeholders — "to keep busy."

Also in the works is a combined 40th birthday celebration for Stacy next August, which will double as a fundraiser for Children's Hospital.

Until then, Lubrecht is taking it one day at a time.

"We're defining a new normal," she said. "We'll never be the same, but we have to move beyond what hurts."